Four Thoughts for Friday...

Happy Friday friends of the blog!

Thank you all for returning despite the fact that my "Planned Parenthood Post that's Not About Planned Parenthood," likely, unintentionally offended at least one person. I'm sorry. Not what I was going for. That said...Donald Trump is winning the Republican polls right now by offending the whole world, so maybe I should shoot for a little less "Minnesota Nice," and a little more, "I don't care who the **** I **** off. **** you!"

...but before I lapse into politics! As it's Friday, and I've already ventured down the path of controversial topics for the week, here are four thoughts about four other things going on in the world that you might have missed or not yet formed an opinion about!

1. I have a whole file of ideas for book writing, one of my most recent being a memoir of sorts called "The Big Sister's Book of Unsolicited Advice," which would be a book of essay and anecdotes instilling all the "big sister wisdom" that Mookie never required. My sister and I have a great relationship and friendship, but there are many ways in which we are different. Take, for example, our husbands. Mookie and Mustang were friends in high school before dating in college and getting married after 6 years of courtship and engagement. It was the only real dating my sister ever did. And it worked great for her!

J Word and I...we met online, got engaged after 6 months and married 11 months after that.

And while my sister and I are both very happy in our marriages, I have A LOT of advice about online dating that I never got to give her because her love life and mine were not the same.

This week, I came across this article CLICK HERE about a woman who met a man in Malaysia via her online dating profile, seemingly "fell in love" with him (or the idea of him because they never met in person), at which point he tried to scam her out of $20,000. And thus, I started thinking about the very practical advice I could have offered this woman about dating online and actually trying to find a real relationship. Here are my pointers in a nutshell.

• When it gives you the option of how far away you want to look for a match...actually pick a distance you'd be willing to go to meet a match. Yes, rom-com's want you to believe that love will transcend all boundaries, and you could get on a plane, fly to Malaysia and live happily ever after with some dark haired, dark eyed, dreamboat. But really...can you actually give up your job and move to Malaysia? Wouldn't it be easier to maybe have a first date that's at your favorite corner bar and not the other side of the world? Take it from me: when the first message arrived from the "Puerto Rican Prince," asking me to let him come to Wisconsin and shower me with "Latin Love," I DID NOT PURSUE IT!! Delete. Move on. This is not happening! 

• 90% of the time you spend online sorting through messages and other people's profiles will be completely worthless and depressing. This is the digital equivalent to walking into a bar, restaurant, party, etc. and realizing that you don't find anyone cute or dateable. When I first started on Match.com, I browsed A LOT because I was curious. Then I got less curious and more skeptical and a little bit cynical before I made my biggest and best discovery...

AKA the best advice I can possibly give on the subject...

• After my first online dating snafu, when I decided to go back and give it one more genuine try, I bought and read a book on the subject. I know that sounds nerdy and weird, but really there's a psychology to relationships, and if you walk through Barnes and Noble, there are like 1000000 self help books for marriages and relationships, so I am not the only person that has ever consider picking up a little light reading in regards to their love life (or lack there of!). The book I read was actually fascinating about the "science" of the Match.com algorithms (and how they are predisposed to keep you on their site for at least 6-9 months). It also had a section about the statistical rates of return for the number of messages you send out, as well as what kind of messages statistically garner the most quality responses, what looks best on a profile page, etc. etc. etc. Some people have actually told me that this is like "cheating" the online dating game, but I say, "Why?" I didn't use the tips I learned to lie or misrepresent myself...I used them to better represent who I was and what I was looking for. Plus, I met J Word...and we got married...so to you, person who is still single and told me I "cheated," maybe you should start "cheating" too! 

2.  I recently took the Washington Post IQ test that compares you to MENSA candidates. For the sake of today's post, my results are not important. And because today is Friday and nobody wants to think quite that hard, here's a 21st century version of an IQ test that should make you both think and laugh! CLICK HERE

3. I have discovered new great music, and his name is Peter Hollens. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm REALLY late to the game on this one...but wow! If you haven't found him yet, now is your chance!

4. One of these things is not like the others...and it cracks me up! I might become a Charlotte Hornets fan just because he's so funny to watch!. 

Happy Trails,